Wednesday funnies

Howdy y'all,


Remember when we used to get the "funnies" with the newspaper every Sunday? Boy, I sure do. One of my favorite things to do growing up was to read the funnies. If you no comprende what I'm laying down, the "funnies" are the cartoons in the paper. You know, the old greats like Hagar the Horrible, Family Circus, Garfield, and who can forget Luann. I always cut out my favorite ones and kept them. I still love to read the funnies, but don't get to often because we don't get a Sunday paper. (Mental note: get a Sunday paper subscription). 


Well, here's something that should give a good chuckle the way those old funnies did. I've captured the meat of an email message I received yesterday and have it here for you to read and enjoy. Be sure to read the fine print; that's where the real laughs are at. 

Based on your industry status, you're exactly the kind of top-level executive who should be reading every issue of Cleaning & Maintenance Management magazine. The success of even the finest publication depends on getting it into the hands of the audience it was meant to serve. We look forward to keeping you up-to-date on all the latest happenings in the world of commercial cleaning. Simply click the Verify Button below to accept your  FREE* introductory subscription to  Cleaning & Maintenance Management magazine.  PLEASE RESPOND by June 19th, 2011

Ain't that a hoot? I mean, seriously. I wasn't aware the cleaning industry knew of my status. I'm fairly certain that if they knew of my cleaning status, they would be well aware that I am nowhere NEAR a top-level executive in terms of cleaning and maintaining my home. I am functioning somewhere near apprentice or assistant to the secretary at best. 


I love it! It's so laughable it's not even funny. Wait ... is that an oxymoron? Anywho, as I was out trolling the local Big Lots today, I came across something to aid me in furthering my skills as a top-level cleaning executive. 


By the way, am I the only one who loves Big Lots? I mean, yes, there is a lot of junk there and sometimes questionable people, but, at times, there are such good deals. Real diamonds in the rough, so to speak. Like a Z Gallerie-esque picture frame for $5. I like nice, but I like cheap. Those two meet sometimes at Big Lots and when I'm there to witness the meeting, I'm all over it like hen crap on a steel pump handle (props to my buddy Lee for coming up with that jewel). I digress ... 


Wanna know what I got at Big Lots to help me work my way up the corporate cleaning ladder? Here she is:  

Yep, it's a leopard-print mop. Hey, if I've got to mop, I might as well be stylish while I do it, right? This will fit neatly alongside my leopard-print dishwashing brush. I see a trend starting here, and mama likey. I just happened to need a new mop and they just happened  to have this purdy gal, so there we go. I can't resist leopard print. I'm pretty sure I'll be the old lady wearing leopard print in the mall with everyone gawking, saying, "Doesn't she know she's too old to be wearing that?" 

Now mopping can be a *little* more fun (OK, so it doesn't even register on the fun meter), but at least I will enjoy pulling my cute mop out before I groan about using it. Maybe I'll become President & CEO of Cleaning & Maintenance Management magazine before long. It's not a far stretch; I was an editor in my former life. Watch out world, here I come! 

God bless,

Miss K

31 Days of Joy ~ Day 7

As Mary says on Jack's Big Music Show, "What a day!" Today was eventful and fun. It moved so quickly I almost forgot to stop this evening and post my joyful item. :)


Today, the thing that brought me joy was having a full house. Our moms' group had a playdate today at our home. We had four mommies and seven children hanging out in our modest house, so it was a bit noisy, but the kiddos were all pretty good. 


In my old age, I've come to realize that I love to entertain. I would've never thought this about myself. I thoroughly enjoy inviting people over, cooking and baking all kinds of goodies (because what's a party without food, right?), and hearing the sounds of life in my house. 


I think it's comfortable for me because it reminds me of my family. Growing up, we always had dinner together, around the table, as a family. Many of my fondest memories are from these mealtimes, where I was typically trying to gross my dad out by insinuating that I had touched his food (germaphobes don't like this apparently) and we were often laughing and carrying on like a bunch of jackals. It was loud, and oftentimes disorderly, and it was wonderful. 


You're likely to get this same type of scenario if you eat dinner at our house now. The old man and I are both pretty boisterous, and the little whippersnapper's got a set of lungs on him, too. We can't help it. I don't think we own "inside voices." We operate on "playground voices" much of the time, and if distance or TV volume necessitate, we turn the dial up to "ballgame voices." What? You don't know what "ballgame voices" are? Sure you do. It's the voice your dad/grandpa/son/husband uses when he yells at the TV during a ballgame. Hence, "ballgame voices." I have to be careful not to use my ballgame voice when the front door is open for fear of scaring the neighbors. We have scared visiting babies in our own home with our level of noise. Some find it unsettling; I find it endearing.


When there are more bodies and voices in my home, there is more noise. It's comforting, like a good old pair of sweats. Some of my best times have been huddled around the kitchen island sharing laughs and stories. Now that we're in the parent trap, the noise level has increased and morphed. It's so much better. We have big people laughs and little people laughs, and what's better than a little person's laugh? Honestly. It's like the gift that keeps on giving. 


So, as much as the Martha in me stresses about the house not being ready for company or the amount of food not being sufficient, I snap right out of it the first time that doorbell rings. When our door opens to the smiles of friends, it's a gentle reminder of what's important in life. 


Thank you, Lord, for blessing us with a home to entertain in, sufficient nourishment, and friends and family to share in our lives.

31 Days of Joy ~ Day 5

Today, the thing that brought me joy was my son. More specifically, it's his burgeoning vocabulary and personality. When he's not busy teaching me patience, he's making me laugh. 


We spent the evening decorating our Christmas tree and had quite a nice time together. The control freak in me was reluctant to let him help decorate the tree because I knew it wouldn't turn out "perfect" and a few ornaments might get broken along the way. We have a family tradition of decorating our trees with Hallmark ornaments, so I have a small fortune hanging on my tree each year and I shudder to think of anything getting broken. 


However, I decided to let go and just enjoy the time working with my son. I'd like to thank God for the person who invented Super Glue (or, as little man calls it, "supy gwue"). With that said, I was in awe of the job he did. He took such care hanging each ornament and really handled them gently, which was a feat in itself for him. 


At one point, as I was schooling him on the finer points of ornament hanging, he turned to me and said, "Are you kidding me, Mom?" I couldn't help but laugh. He has quite a mouth on him, and it keeps us on our toes. 


Later on, he eagerly told my husband, "Dad, I have a present for you," to which my husband replies, "Oh, what is it?" He then turns around and shakes his little hiney at him, which was full of, well, I don't think I really need to spell it out. I almost had an accident myself in laughing at that one. 


When we were putting him to bed, I was holding him and about to turn him over to my husband. He looks at my husband, puts his hand up in the "Stop" position and tells him, "Swiper, no swiping. Swiper, no swiping." If you've ever seen Dora, you know what this means. All we could do was laugh.


My child never ceases to amaze or amuse me. Thank you, Lord, for my sweet little boy. 

31 Days of Joy ~ Day 3

It's almost midnight here, so today's thing that brings me joy is going to be quick and probably much shorter than usual. I assume that will make anyone reading this happy, since I am usually pretty verbose. 


The thing that brought me joy today was laughter. After a tough day riddled with tantrums and timeouts, the hubs and I ventured out with a couple of good friends for an adults-only night out. Yay for babysitters! (As an aside, I just typed "babysisters" instead of "babysitters" at first, obviously a Freudian slip because I want a little girl like yesterday.)


Tonight was a much-needed good time filled with silliness, a crazy bathroom incident during which my scarf might or might not have went into to the toilet (I'm still not sure about that one), and TONS of laughter. And I loved it. Every single minute. 


I love to laugh almost more than I like to breathe. It feels so good in my soul. It feels healthy, restorative, and just downright fun. After said bathroom incident, I went on a giggle spree that was obviously contagious because the whole car was laughing as we drove. When I get a case of the giggles, it's uncontrollable, violent, and wonderful to me. I question whether our tortillas might have actually been laced with tequila, but, alas, we'll never know. 


Thank you, Lord, for giving us the gift of laughter. In a world that's often so down-trodden and serious, it's refreshing just to be able to giggle like there's no tomorrow without a care in the world. 


In the words of one of my favorite artists, "If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane." ("Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes" by Jimmy Buffett)


*Bonus: Whenever I laugh, I am reminded of the following scene/song from Mary Poppins. It's by far my favorite scene of the movie and one of the songs in the soundtrack of my life. 

Deep Thoughts from a Toddler Mind

As my little man grows and discovers his vocabulary, his personality is really beginning to shine through. I just have to share a few of the things he's said recently that should give a good, hearty belly laugh. I also want to document these things so I can one day use them as blackmail when the appropriate situation arises. ;) 


This morning, as we woke up (yes, he goes to sleep in his own bed but somehow ends up in mine every morning), we were having our typical few minutes of snuggle time. They usually consist of him coaxing me out of bed because I'm a night person and have typically not had enough sleep due to working/playing/Facebooking into the wee hours of the morning. But, I digress ... 


I asked him for my usual first morning hug and kiss, and  he promptly said "Shoo!" upon reaching over to hug me. He then told me, "Mama, you have macaroni and cheese in your mouth! That's SO gross!" Yes, ladies and gents, this was my little creative man's way of telling me I had bad breath. I just about laughed my head off! It might make more sense if I tell you that this is the only kid in the universe (I think) that won't touch macaroni and cheese with a ten-foot pole. He'd rather eat his toenails than try mac-n-cheese. Seriously. So he was thinkin' there was some real stinkin' going on in my mouth. 


A few days ago, he had a similar spurt. We were at a playdate with friends and he had gotten into trouble for taking a toy from one of his little buddies. As I was prodding him to apologize to his friend, he looked at his friend and said, "Sorry, crazy." Needless to say, both of the mommies involved had to turn our heads to keep from cracking the whole "lesson" in two with our giggles. 


Tonight, he told me "I do it ALL BY MYSELF" when I told him it was time to go brush his teeth. In turn, I replied with my best neck roll with one finger up in the air, "Well, excu-u-use me! Mr. 2.5 going on 14!" He thought this was hilarious and giggled ferociously. Then he asked me to do it five more times. Which I did. Because I can't get enough of this kid's giggles. Ever. 


As he nears the ripe old age of 3, he seems to have it all figured out. He may not have it ALL figured out, but one thing he's pegged for sure: he has us wrapped so tightly around his little finger. At times, I have to stop myself because I hang on his every word. I can only imagine what words are to come as he continues to grow and learn.