I choose strength. Because that's what the Lord wants from me. Strength in Him.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
~ Proverbs 3:5-6
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Looking for Forward Momentum
Lately, I feel like the life I'm living is in a constant state of "two steps forward, ten steps back." And not in some fun, Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat kind of way. You know, "Two steps forward, two steps back, we come together 'cause opposites attract ..."
Like, for every molehill I surmount, there's a mountain ahead of me I'm going to tumble tragically down.
My kid actually listens one day when I ask him to pick up his toys and does so without any whining, bickering, or ignoring. Then, the next day he pinches someone at preschool and gets sent to the office.
I make a new friend and feel an instant, I've-known-you-all-my-life connection. Two days later, doubt creeps into my mind and I question whether this new friend even likes me at all.
I manage to finally get the house cleaned and feel proud of my accomplishments. The next day, I remember that it's my husband's birthday in two days and I haven't even thought about what to get him. Not to mention, I've managed to miss my brothers' birthdays altogether and now have to tuck my tail between my legs and send the "it's late, so of course it's from me" gift.
Some days, I feel like opening my arms and heart to the world, and shouting, "Bring on the day! Let me be a light unto this world and do all the good that I can with all that I'm given." I am Superwoman, trying to be everything to everyone and sincerely wanting to do it all right.
Other days, I want to put on the heaviest, thickest body armor around and close myself into my house, barring the windows and the doors, removing any piece of myself from connection to the outside world. I'm wallowing in self doubt and seriously wondering if one iota of my being really even matters to anyone else.
I suppose I could lay "blame" for this stage of my life on many things. Maybe it's life with a 3 1/2 year old. Maybe it's motherhood in general, which is not the most forgiving of professions. Maybe it's my hormones and the PCOS that's ravaging my body. Maybe it's Satan, trying to attack me where both he and God know I'm all too vulnerable. Maybe it's because I don't love myself, so I don't see where others should either. Maybe I'm in a valley of life right now, instead of on a peak. Maybe, and this is the scariest maybe of all, it's all true and I just don't stack up as a person the way I should.
I truly don't know. I don't have the answers. If I did, I would do whatever necessary to remove myself from this rut.
Why am I sharing this? Is it just to get anyone who happens to read it (as if anyone's still paying any attention to this pathetic blog) down in the doldrums with me?
Nope. I'm sharing this for two reasons.
1) This blog is about my life and I want it to be honest, so I'm sharing my life right now. Pockmarks and all. This is my free therapy session.
2) I hope that it will encourage anyone who reads it and feels the same way I do, and remind them that they're not alone. Alone is not a great way to feel. I feel it often, whether in a crowd or at home.
I long to tie this post up in pretty paper with a neat bow, but I just can't. It's where I'm at right now. I just have to trust that God will meet me right where I am.
Like, for every molehill I surmount, there's a mountain ahead of me I'm going to tumble tragically down.
My kid actually listens one day when I ask him to pick up his toys and does so without any whining, bickering, or ignoring. Then, the next day he pinches someone at preschool and gets sent to the office.
I make a new friend and feel an instant, I've-known-you-all-my-life connection. Two days later, doubt creeps into my mind and I question whether this new friend even likes me at all.
I manage to finally get the house cleaned and feel proud of my accomplishments. The next day, I remember that it's my husband's birthday in two days and I haven't even thought about what to get him. Not to mention, I've managed to miss my brothers' birthdays altogether and now have to tuck my tail between my legs and send the "it's late, so of course it's from me" gift.
Some days, I feel like opening my arms and heart to the world, and shouting, "Bring on the day! Let me be a light unto this world and do all the good that I can with all that I'm given." I am Superwoman, trying to be everything to everyone and sincerely wanting to do it all right.
Other days, I want to put on the heaviest, thickest body armor around and close myself into my house, barring the windows and the doors, removing any piece of myself from connection to the outside world. I'm wallowing in self doubt and seriously wondering if one iota of my being really even matters to anyone else.
I suppose I could lay "blame" for this stage of my life on many things. Maybe it's life with a 3 1/2 year old. Maybe it's motherhood in general, which is not the most forgiving of professions. Maybe it's my hormones and the PCOS that's ravaging my body. Maybe it's Satan, trying to attack me where both he and God know I'm all too vulnerable. Maybe it's because I don't love myself, so I don't see where others should either. Maybe I'm in a valley of life right now, instead of on a peak. Maybe, and this is the scariest maybe of all, it's all true and I just don't stack up as a person the way I should.
I truly don't know. I don't have the answers. If I did, I would do whatever necessary to remove myself from this rut.
Why am I sharing this? Is it just to get anyone who happens to read it (as if anyone's still paying any attention to this pathetic blog) down in the doldrums with me?
Nope. I'm sharing this for two reasons.
1) This blog is about my life and I want it to be honest, so I'm sharing my life right now. Pockmarks and all. This is my free therapy session.
2) I hope that it will encourage anyone who reads it and feels the same way I do, and remind them that they're not alone. Alone is not a great way to feel. I feel it often, whether in a crowd or at home.
I long to tie this post up in pretty paper with a neat bow, but I just can't. It's where I'm at right now. I just have to trust that God will meet me right where I am.
Prayer
By: Henry David Thoreau
Great God, I ask for no meaner pelf
Than that I may not disappoint myself,
That in my action I may soar as high
As I can now discern with this clear eye.
And next in value, which thy kindness lends,
That I may greatly disappoint my friends,
Howe'er they think or hope that it may be,
They may not dream how thou'st distinguished me.
That my weak hand may equal my firm faith
And my life practice what my tongue saith
That my low conduct may not show
Nor my relenting lines
That I thy purpose did not know
Or overrated thy designs.
Than that I may not disappoint myself,
That in my action I may soar as high
As I can now discern with this clear eye.
And next in value, which thy kindness lends,
That I may greatly disappoint my friends,
Howe'er they think or hope that it may be,
They may not dream how thou'st distinguished me.
That my weak hand may equal my firm faith
And my life practice what my tongue saith
That my low conduct may not show
Nor my relenting lines
That I thy purpose did not know
Or overrated thy designs.
Monday, October 10, 2011
31 Days of Natural Nutrition: Day 10 ~ Lacking inspiration and motivation
I'm three days behind on posting for the 31 Days of Natural Nutrition challenge. I hadn't planned to post on Saturday because the hubs and I got out of town for the night, so I was giving myself a day off.
One day turned into three, and I'm only posting now to sadly say I'm running out of steam on this challenge. I don't know if it's the day or what I've been eating, but I have literally no inspiration or motivation right now.
It's pitiful. I'm going to hibernate until tomorrow in hopes that my motivation will return. I don't like feeling this way.
Perhaps tomorrow will be a more fruitful day (pun intended). Here's to sleep!
I'm off to let my meat loaf.
I'll leave you with something that truly made me laugh out loud today (found on Facebook).
One day turned into three, and I'm only posting now to sadly say I'm running out of steam on this challenge. I don't know if it's the day or what I've been eating, but I have literally no inspiration or motivation right now.
It's pitiful. I'm going to hibernate until tomorrow in hopes that my motivation will return. I don't like feeling this way.
Perhaps tomorrow will be a more fruitful day (pun intended). Here's to sleep!
I'm off to let my meat loaf.
I'll leave you with something that truly made me laugh out loud today (found on Facebook).
Friday, October 7, 2011
31 Days of Natural Nutrition: Day 7 ~ Easy Peasy Veggie Cookin'
Here I am. Posting again. I'm loving this 31 Days challenge mostly because it's keeping me accountable to my blog and writing consistently. Thus, I'm feeling more inspired.
Head on over to the Nesting Place if you want to read some of the many other 31 dayers' challenges.
Day 7 for me was all about easy peasy. After turning my scrumptious chocolate chip banana bread recipe into muffins this morning for MOPS, I was kind of petered out on cooking the rest of the day. (The banana bread recipe is a total necessary share, but was a hand-me-down from my grandmother-in-law, so I'll have to type it up and share later. Stay tuned.)
*Short commercial: MOPS is not a household cleaning product nor is it a weird syndrome; it's Mothers of Preschoolers. If you haven't heard of it or been to one and you have preschoolers, find a group and GO! Now! Seriously. It's saved my life and made me a better Christian wife, mother, and woman overall.
Anywho, still recovering from my cold kept me from planning dinner and left me standing in front of the fridge at 5:15 p.m. thinking, "What in the world am I going to cook?" Meanwhile, hubby's grumbling in the living room because he's already been hungry for an hour.
I decided to throw some chicken in the oven and grill up some of our fresh veggies that were, quite literally, dying to get used. This reminded me of one super-easy thing I could share.
I don't know about you, but fresh veggies used to intimidate me. I didn't know how to prepare them, let alone cut them half the time. I'm no pro now, but I've made strides and have found some go-to methods that work in a pinch.
If you're in a rush and want to (or need to) cook up some of your fresh veggies, here's a little secret. Two ingredients are all you need to make most veggies taste fantastic. Be prepared to be dazzled. Here you go: olive oil and season salt. It really is that easy. Toss your chosen veggie(s) in a blend of olive oil and season salt and either roast them in the oven or toss them in a grill basket and let the magic begin. BAM! Our favorite veggie prepared this way is zucchini. The season salt just makes the flavor explode and grilling them keeps them from getting too soggy, as squash can be prone to do.
I've used this recipe with zucchini, all different types of squash, sweet potatoes, etc. It's so simple and relatively healthy. No more Rachael Ray 15-ingredient veggie side dishes around here. I'll save those for when I truly have the time, which may not ever come. For now, we do simple. And simple is good.
Five Minute Friday: On Ordinary
Here it is almost 10 p.m. PST and I nearly forgot about Five Minute Friday.
Five Minute Friday this week is on ordinary. Eek. So many thoughts swim through my mind.
OK, GO!
Ordinary. Yikes. That word gives me the heebie jeebies to be honest. It's probably what I'm most fearful of in life, just being ordinary.
You see, I want to be meaningful, creative, visionary. Anything but ordinary. As a stay-at-home mom, there are times, more often than not, that the ONLY thing I feel is ordinary. I often feel like an automaton could come in and take my place and no one else would notice. I feel like what I'm doing is just ordinary, everyday stuff. Dishes, laundry, cooking, cleaning (who am I kidding? I really shouldn't even list this, that's how infrequently I clean my house).
But you know what? God is stretching me and growing me, and SLOWLY (very slowly) showing me that ordinary is an alright place to be. Because you know who God used? Ordinary people. Everyday people. He used the ordinary to do things that were extraordinary.
I pray for that for my life. I want God to use this ordinary mom life I feel I'm living and make it burst with extraordinary for His glory.
Want to hear the tough stuff? It takes me realizing that what I'm doing every day, the ins and outs of mothering and wifing, are anything but ordinary. I have the opportunity on a daily basis to extraordinarily touch the lives of the two people I hold most dear, my husband and my son.
THAT is anything but ordinary. THAT is my calling. I need to answer the Lord's call with a resounding "Yes!"
STOP!
*I love how God smacks me upside the head at 10 p.m. on a Friday night. He really is SO good to care.*
Five Minute Friday this week is on ordinary. Eek. So many thoughts swim through my mind.
OK, GO!
Ordinary. Yikes. That word gives me the heebie jeebies to be honest. It's probably what I'm most fearful of in life, just being ordinary.
You see, I want to be meaningful, creative, visionary. Anything but ordinary. As a stay-at-home mom, there are times, more often than not, that the ONLY thing I feel is ordinary. I often feel like an automaton could come in and take my place and no one else would notice. I feel like what I'm doing is just ordinary, everyday stuff. Dishes, laundry, cooking, cleaning (who am I kidding? I really shouldn't even list this, that's how infrequently I clean my house).
But you know what? God is stretching me and growing me, and SLOWLY (very slowly) showing me that ordinary is an alright place to be. Because you know who God used? Ordinary people. Everyday people. He used the ordinary to do things that were extraordinary.
I pray for that for my life. I want God to use this ordinary mom life I feel I'm living and make it burst with extraordinary for His glory.
Want to hear the tough stuff? It takes me realizing that what I'm doing every day, the ins and outs of mothering and wifing, are anything but ordinary. I have the opportunity on a daily basis to extraordinarily touch the lives of the two people I hold most dear, my husband and my son.
THAT is anything but ordinary. THAT is my calling. I need to answer the Lord's call with a resounding "Yes!"
STOP!
*I love how God smacks me upside the head at 10 p.m. on a Friday night. He really is SO good to care.*
Thursday, October 6, 2011
31 Days of Natural Nutrition: Day 6 ~ Spaghetti squash
It's Day 6 and things are looking up. This post will be short and sweet, as I'm posting from my iPad since I'm actually in bed before midnight!
Today was filled with much healthier choices and feeling better overall. My nutritional share for today is spaghetti squash. It's one of our favorites and oh so easy to prepare. If you haven't tried it, don't be apprehensive. Grab one next time you're at the farmer's market or grocery.
We use spaghetti squash as a substitute for the pasta in our spaghetti dinner. It's so good, with the only difference being a consistency issue. When I first made it, I cringed upon serving it to my husband because he loves his pasta. Much to my surprise, he prefers the spaghetti squash over the spaghetti noodles. Score!
Here's what to do with the spaghetti squash. Cut it in half and scrape out all the seeds and "guts" as we'd call them. Then flip both halves over in a baking dish and poke the rind of each half several times with a fork. Throw the dish in an oven preheated to 350 for 30-40 minutes or until done. When the squash is done, you just have to hold each side up and scrape the inside out with a fork. The inside comes out in strands, resembling spaghetti. If you have older kids, they'll probably fancy this pretty cool. My three year old just runs!
Toss some squash on a plate and top with spaghetti sauce with meat or marinara for a vegetarian option. It tastes fabulous and is truly healthy! No need to hit the couch afterward due to a carb overload!
Paired with some wine and candlelight, this is a perfect in-home date with your spouse. Molto bene!
Today was filled with much healthier choices and feeling better overall. My nutritional share for today is spaghetti squash. It's one of our favorites and oh so easy to prepare. If you haven't tried it, don't be apprehensive. Grab one next time you're at the farmer's market or grocery.
We use spaghetti squash as a substitute for the pasta in our spaghetti dinner. It's so good, with the only difference being a consistency issue. When I first made it, I cringed upon serving it to my husband because he loves his pasta. Much to my surprise, he prefers the spaghetti squash over the spaghetti noodles. Score!
Here's what to do with the spaghetti squash. Cut it in half and scrape out all the seeds and "guts" as we'd call them. Then flip both halves over in a baking dish and poke the rind of each half several times with a fork. Throw the dish in an oven preheated to 350 for 30-40 minutes or until done. When the squash is done, you just have to hold each side up and scrape the inside out with a fork. The inside comes out in strands, resembling spaghetti. If you have older kids, they'll probably fancy this pretty cool. My three year old just runs!
Toss some squash on a plate and top with spaghetti sauce with meat or marinara for a vegetarian option. It tastes fabulous and is truly healthy! No need to hit the couch afterward due to a carb overload!
Paired with some wine and candlelight, this is a perfect in-home date with your spouse. Molto bene!
Double rainbow ...
Because I feel like the veil is being lifted on this doggone cold I've got, it's a "double rainbow" kind of day. If you don't know what I'm talking about, here you go. You can thank me later. Take the next six minutes of your day and watch these two videos. Trust me. The first is the infamous "double rainbow" discovery, while the second is a remixed "double rainbow" song. You have to watch the first to fully appreciate the remix, which. is. awesome. Enjoy!
When you're finished laughing, which could be a while, continue ...
Whoa! What does this mean?
I must humbly thank our friends Mark and Joanne for introducing us to the infamous "double rainbow" videos after we saw this double rainbow on our last day vacationing with them in Kauai.
Cheers to double rainbows and today!
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