31 Days of Natural Nutrition: Day 5 ~ What NOT to do (aka why there was no Day 4)

You might notice I was absent from my blog yesterday. Wanna know why? 'Cause I'm a BIG, FAT hypocrite, that's why. I don't think I ate one thing yesterday that wasn't processed in some way nor am I sure I even ate anything in its raw or pure form. Epic fail! 

I have since dusted myself off from that wagon fall and learned a lesson. I am what I eat. When I eat like crap, I feel like crap. Between a son with a stomach virus and myself with the cold that won't end, it's a veritable germfest in our house right now. Thus, yesterday, all caution was thrown to the wind and we ate whatever soothed our bellies and palates. 

The funny thing is that the so-called "comfort food" I ate didn't bring me any comfort. I ended up being disappointed in myself for sacrificing and going to bed with a distended tummy chock full of carbs and high-fructose corn syrup. My prenatal vitamin and extra vitamin C tablet were the only redeeming things to pass through my esophagus yesterday besides water.

I heard a quote the other day that first stung me, then resonated deeply: "What we eat in private shows in public." I may not think those 5 or 10 M&Ms I'm tossing back between lunch and dinner are affecting me, but they are. Especially if I toss 5 or 10 back five times a day. 

I'm learning slowly (like at a snail's pace, y'all) that my health/weight/well-being are a combination of when, what, and how much I choose to eat. Living with PCOS (which I discussed in this post), I cannot simply follow a reduced-calorie, "less in, more out" type of diet and expect to garner great results. Sure, calorie reduction and increased exercise will help, but it's not enough. A lot of what's going on with my body is in the way it's responding to what I choose to eat. 

So you'd think I'd be even more sensitive and follow "the rules" better, right? Nah. I don't like being told I can't do something, so this interferes with the core of trying to eat better. I have to realize that there are things I can't eat (well, maybe I can, but I truly shouldn't) if I want to be the healthiest version of me possible. 

It all comes down to this: do I want to be healthy or do I want the momentary pleasure of ________ (insert your choice of comfort food, sugary treat, or calorie-laden drink)? I want to be healthy. That is my utmost desire. The momentary pleasure of unhealthy food (and that's truly all it amounts to) is just not worth it. Now to train my irrational mind to remember this ideal when it's past lunch and I'm scrambling to find something to stuff in my mouth is quite a different story. 

I'm fresh out of ideas on how to beat my addiction to processed, unhealthy foods. There are many times in a day where I vehemently want to tear through my pantry and fridge, removing any semblance of processing, refining, filling and head to the nearest dump with the stuff. The me that hates to waste is what holds the tiger back. I figure we'll just finish it out and then not buy it again. Maybe I need to just let it go, release my wrath on the kitchen, and not look back. It certainly can't hurt us. 

What ways are you successful at eliminating or limiting processed foods in your diet? How do you overcome the urge to consume "comfort" food? What natural foods give you that comfort you long for? 

I'd like to thank the Academy ...

Oh, sorry. Just practicing my acceptance speech for when I win the award for Most Inconsistent Blogger on Earth. It's been a month since I blogged. Really? No wonder I've been so uptight. All these thoughts balled up in my head and no pounding on a keyboard to let them all out. 

Every time I come to my blog, it makes me think of this:

Now I want to go watch Billy Madison. I L-O-V-E that movie. Shampoo good. Conditioner better ... Stop looking at me, swan! 

Anyway, just dropping by to say how lame I am in all aspects of life lately. I totally fell off the wagon on my eating plan. OK, I didn't just fall off, the wagon darn near killed me by running me over after I fell off. It really is that bad. I've got the few extra pounds to show it. 

I'm not feeling well, not eating well, and not working out. I feel like Chet in Weird Science. You remember? This guy:

Alas, tomorrow's a new day and I am more determined than ever to morph out of my Chet-ness into more of a Kelly LeBrock-ness (circa 1985, of course). 

I'm hoping to awaken tomorrow feeling well, refreshed, and ready to attack my "spare tire" with a vengeance. I've discovered a new mantra that I am going to put on a loop in my brain, as well as print out and post on every surface I come in contact with (especially those involving the finding and consumption of food): 

"Don't trade what you want most for what you want at this moment." 

Done. I'm over trading feeling good in a sleeveless shirt for a doughnut or being able to fit in my ballet skirt for an enchilada. Seriously. 

I would appreciate any and all encouragement I can get in this endeavor. I like food. A little too much. But, you see, me and food, we're on the outs. I can't hang with grease, processed, or fried vittles like I used to. I gotta spend some well-deserved time with some fruits and veggies to make me lean and clean again. 

If you happen to have the pleasure of being around me when I experience an episode of weakened self-control (which are sure to be many), please do me a favor. First off, make sure you're not within arm's or leg's distance 'cause I might want to hurt you. Once your outside the boundary, kindly remind me of my mantra and what I'm working toward. Just be sure to say please. 

The Dreaded "D" Word

That's right. You guessed it. Tomorrow, I'm going on a DIET. Ugh! I abhor that word. Really. Whoever invented it should be ... well, I'll save the end and maintain my ladylike charm. 


This isn't just any old diet though. I'm actually excited about this diet. Scratch that. I'm excited about this new eating plan, which will be a better label for my purposes. 


You see, I have something called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS, for short). I have been asking for a diagnosis from my doctors for darn near four years now, so I was finally relieved to have the diagnosis confirmed a few months ago. If you know anything of PCOS, it ain't good. If you have PCOS, I'm sorry for you, and me. It causes fertility problems, cycle problems, and a host of other unsightly and downright embarrassing symptoms that no woman should have to deal with. Ever. Period. To put it bluntly, PCOS makes you a hot mess. 


Here's a good example all my girls reading this can relate to. Take two women: let's call them Fiona and Vivian (two names I downright love). Say Fiona and Vivian eat the same exact diet for a month. You'd think they would both either maintain their weight or gain roughly the same amount of weight, right? WRONG! You see, Fiona has PCOS. Thus, Fiona can actually GAIN weight while Vivian (who is PCOS free) will NOT gain weight and may even LOSE weight. You're screaming it with me, right? How unfair! Unjust! Downright awful. That, my friends, is PCOS. It caused me to gain 20 pounds in one year. I kid you not. PCOS causes insulin resistance (much like a pre-diabetic state), so those of us who are blessed with it have to be super-cognitive of what we eat. 


Herein lies the need for the new eating plan (the aforementioned "diet"). In seeking a natural remedy for my PCOS symptoms, I stumbled upon this wonderful book The Natural Diet Solution for PCOS and Infertility. This book is chock-full of explanations about PCOS, the foods we eat, and how it is all intertwined to either help or hurt those of us with PCOS. If you have PCOS, I would recommend you get the book (it's available online as a PDF) and read it promptly. I devoured the book in one evening and it's nearly 500 pages. Good stuff.


The new eating plan starts tomorrow. So, if you have the pleasure of interacting with me face to face, I'm pleading for some grace this first week (if not for the entire month, depending on how well I adjust). This eating plan is like the Full Metal Jacket of eating. There is no cutting corners, there is no cheating. It's strict as Mommy Dearest. It allows mainly fruits, vegetables, lean meats, eggs, and some nuts and healthy oils. That's it. Here's what it doesn't allow (I hope my keyboard doesn't short out from all the tears that fall as I type this): processed foods (of any kind), grains, soda (of any kind), and, here's where my heart actually aches: DAIRY. No dairy of any kind. No milk. No yogurt. No butter. NO CHEESE! Oh dear Lord, spare me the agony. A life without cheese? What kind of life is that? It's nearly unbearable. 


As I regain my composure, I realize that man does not live by cheese alone. Or was it bread? Heck, they're both good, so it doesn't really matter. I must remind myself that I'm doing this to heal my body, to bring it back to a more natural state of being so that it can function properly. There are so many foods I CAN eat on this plan, it's ridiculous. So I will focus on that. I'm actually excited to toss out the processed foods, as we've been eliminating those bit by bit for a while. And the soda needs to go, too. It's unnecessary. 


I'll be going this plan for a month, to start off. Then, if I feel ready, I can reintroduce some foods here and there (obviously not the processed ones though, or the soda). I'm resting on the notion that I will be energized and feel empowered by fueling my body with nutrients and vitamins instead of processed "foodstuff." I have heard great things about the restorative properties of this diet, so I am looking forward to those. 


I'll be making many new recipes in the next month, so I'll be sure to share those that succeed and might be pleasing to someone else's palate. I'll also report on how the plan's healing properties are working for me in case someone would like to try it for themselves to alleviate their own PCOS symptoms, or just in an effort to be more healthy. 


If you have any healthy eating tips and/or recipes that fit the bill, please send them my way. I can use all the artillery I can get for this war. Seriously. I'm a foodie, so this is not going to be easy. But it will be worth it. 


Wish me luck!


God bless,
Miss K

Tipping the scales

Here's the sitch, folks: I'm eating too much. I'm avoiding exercise like I'm allergic to it. I have, for lack of better words and for complete admittance to myself, "let myself go."


I'm having nightmarish visions of this woman. Remember her? 

I'll give you one clue: STOP THE INSANITY! 

It is due to the aforementioned reasons and a desire to see my 40th birthday (which is not for MANY years, I vehemently demand) that I must heed this woman's advice.

All insanity shall cease at 0dark30 in the morning when I wake up and have a visit with this man (minus the coffee and donuts, of course).

I'll let you know how it goes. 

An open letter to a long-lost friend

My Dearest Metabolism,


How in the world are you? I know it seems like months since I've written or even thought about you, but I'm beginning to worry when or IF you'll ever come back. Please do. I miss you.


I know you probably thought I didn't need you once I grew up, but I need you now more than ever. It feels like you just turned your back on me and ran away, leaving mass amounts of chocolate and stretchy pants in your wake. 


I promise if you come back I'll give you a prettier, albeit smaller (hopefully), place to live and I'll feed you more salads and less saturated fat. I'm not trying to butter you up, believe me. 


I just need you in my life. Please come home. You complete me.


Sincerely,


Miss K